When asked why I created the Divine Feminine version of my process, I explain by saying:
There is nothing we have ever suffered that we cannot heal within ourselves, but the most powerful medicine I have ever witnessed is the healing power of unconditional compassion…. for ourselves.
The greatest suffering I have ever experienced both within myself and seen in others is when we refuse to have unconditional acceptance and love for ourselves in the midst of emotional pain. When I experience people refusing this embrace when they are already hurting immeasurably only amplifies their pain.
To get more personal, it seems that it was in the midst of times in my life when I was hurt most deeply, I was the hardest on myself.
When the boy I thought I was passionately in love with didn’t ask me to the prom my last year of high school, I told myself I wasn’t as pretty as other girls. I felt I didn’t measure up to be loved….. I wish I had put my arms around myself and said: I am so sorry that you are hurt. You are worthy and deserve to be loved. “I” love you.
When my marriage failed, I said to myself: you have made a mess of your life. You will never find anyone to love you…. I wish I had patiently told myself: I know you are hurt and I just hate you must feel this deep pain, but you are a lovely young woman and will go forward to have a wonderful life. I just know it because I know who you are and you are kind and loving and good and yes, you are beautiful.
At the times when I didn’t achieve what I wanted in my career, I told myself it was because I didn’t work hard enough and that I didn’t have it in me to be as successful as others. I wish I had said—this isn’t a competition. Get a new measuring stick—measure by all the good you have done for other people.
When things didn’t turn out the way I felt they should, there is a part of me that condemned me and shook its finger at me with shame saying: You should have known better! Why didn’t you just do…..? Well it is your own fault.
When I soften my heart to accept the gift of my own compassion, I realize a sweetness I think everyone deserves. When we hurt, it requires no one else’s acknowledgment of our experience of suffering for it to be real. Giving yourself compassion requires no one else’s approval or even their participation.
I created this process to give you the experience of being so closely held by yourself that no separation can remain within you between you and unconditional love and acceptance of yourself. Compassion is the most loving gift you can give yourself and the world.
And no one can give it to you but yourself. And when you do, you receive compassion from everyone.
Want to learn more about the healing power of unconditional passion? Click here to read about my new feminine version of The Divine Intelligence Process.