Faithful family man and experienced leader struggles to remain present and purposeful
John leads a well-rounded, fulfilling life. In addition to being an avid traveler and reader, he’s dedicated to his wife of 40 years, two children and career. In 2012, after more than 36 years at the same company, John decided it was time for a change. He left his role as a corporate human resources senior advisor and leadership coach to start his own executive and career coaching practice.
As a business owner, John regularly attends various conferences and workshops for personal and professional development. In 2016, Dr. Jayne hosted a workshop that introduced John to the concept of divine intelligence. While John was already hooked on the idea of emotional intelligence, divine intelligence was new to him and promised to open new pathways for growth. A lifelong Catholic, John always considered himself a spiritual person, crediting his faith for guiding, nurturing and developing his life path. He saw enormous potential for Dr. Jayne to help continue his development, so he signed up for her mailing list, and ultimately, one of her programs that included the Process.
The Process asks that each participant set a goal for the duration of the three-month program. At the time, John felt very satisfied with most aspects of his life, but was still seeking renewed purpose after leaving the corporate world. He also grappled with his role as parent now that his children were adults. You see, from the moment his son and daughter were born, John was deeply involved in their upbringing. His purpose was crystal clear for years as he provided love, guidance, shelter and education in their youth. However, once his children grew and moved out of the house, John struggled to remain relevant in their lives, especially because they each live over one thousand miles away.
To fill this void, John attempted to make contact on a regular basis, but became frustrated when he didn’t get the response he desired and expected. He didn’t know how to fix the problem. And so, John resolved to use the Process to develop a newfound perspective on the issue and forge a new approach to building a renewed relationship with his children.
From the very beginning, John was dedicated to the hard work the Process requires. He committed himself to writing every single morning, connected with his accountability partner once a week, and completed the individual assignments for every class. Through this deep introspective work, John discovered there were actually many aspects of his life outside of parenting where he had the opportunity to show up as a better version of himself.
Firstly, while John was focused on improving his relationship with his children, his feelings of being unsettled were also related to leaving his role as a corporate executive. Secondly, he discovered he had become conditioned over his lifetime to please others and play peacemaker, rarely setting and enforcing boundaries. While pleasing others had always seemed like the best idea, it actually led to ineffective tactics in multiple areas. These profound revelations explained why he easily became frustrated when his people-pleasing techniques didn’t work, especially with his children. By the end of the Process, John mastered the skill of rejecting these conditions and activating his divine intelligence, choosing to be the best version of himself.
Today, John continues to call upon his divine intelligence on a daily basis. He believes we all have a powerful spirit inside of us, and attributes that to the notion of the Holy Spirit in his Catholic faith. John says he knows the Holy Spirit was always out there somewhere, but now knows it is inside him. John’s biggest secret to stay spiritually in tune is his consistent morning routine. Once the alarm goes off, he reads the Bible, meditates and journals before doing anything else. This discipline keeps him grounded throughout the day, focused on what’s important, who he needs to be thinking about, and a short list of his priority tasks. He’s also able to recognize when he’s slipping away from being fully present, typically when he interrupts others more than usual or becomes emotionally heated. Harnessing his divine intelligence has completely changed John’s entire worldview.
John’s daily practice brings him enormous peace, which in turn has positively impacted his adult to adult relationship with his children. He is more at peace, remaining present for his family and himself at all times. He is happy when his son and daughter choose to contact him, rather than stressing about the frequency of communication.
John describes his experience as a life changing release, allowing him to let go of the baggage he carried over the last 50 years. As his 65th birthday approaches, John is grateful that the Process opened the door to a new way of being.