A gay woman with repressed memories finally reveals her truth and begins the healing process
Teresa was raised in a very strict, Southern Baptist home in Oklahoma. From an early age, her parents strove to instill traditional values in their daughter. She ultimately took their advice, becoming a secretary and getting married in her early twenties. However, as the years went by, Teresa began to feel empty inside. She and her husband both knew she wasn’t happy anymore. At 30 years old, Teresa finally admitted to him, and to herself, that she was gay.
After her divorce in her early thirties, Teresa had a new lease on life. She began exploring her innermost desires, deciding to go back to school to pursue a second career. She briefly considered becoming a therapist, but chose to combine her love of numbers and counseling to become a CPA instead. Teresa enrolled in school full time, earning her bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Twenty years later, she now owns her own CPA practice and lives in Northern California’s wine country.
Unfortunately, Teresa began to experience burnout a few years ago. She was increasingly frustrated in the workplace and suspected something was missing from her spiritual life. A chronic over analyzer, she punched holes in everything before making decisions, and tried to control every situation in order to feel comfortable. After learning about life coaching, her passion for helping others was reignited. Teresa decided she wanted to get certified as a coach.
While researching certification programs, Teresa struggled to find credible options. After finding one promising coaching program, she decided to take a demo class before enrolling. Unfortunately, Teresa did not feel called to take this class. It seemed more focused on finding opportunities to offer ongoing coaching services than helping people find their inner strengths to empower them toward their goals. For many months, she stopped actively looking for other coaching programs, so she was delighted to stumble upon Dr. Jayne’s website one afternoon while doing other research on her computer. The combination of science and spirituality felt like coming home to Teresa, and she knew her search was over. From there she hungrily consumed everything she could find about Dr. Jayne’s Process and coach training programs.
Even though she was about to enter her busiest work season of the year, Teresa felt the pull to get started right away. From the first day of the Process in January 2019, Teresa fully immersed herself in the program. She dedicated every Sunday to do the hard work the Process requires. She spent the entire day reading, writing, listening to meditations, meeting with her accountability partner and watching Dr. Jayne’s videos. During the rest of the week, Teresa sacrificed an extra hour of sleep in the mornings to get up early to journal and meditate, and continues this routine today.
The Process brought Teresa to a place where she felt safe and had much more compassion for herself, enabling her to recall painful memories she had unconsciously suppressed. For the first time, it became clear to Teresa that her family had a pattern of discrediting her, encouraging her to stay quiet and small. It dated all the way back to when she was a young child and was molested by her uncle. Even though she reported the abuse as soon as it happened, her family did not acknowledge it or console her. This experience left the little girl within filled with shame and confusion that Teresa stuffed down deep to protect herself. It was only once she came out to her family decades later that her mother finally admitted the truth stating, “you must think you are gay because your uncle abused you as a child. We can get help for you.”
Unfortunately, the deep, unresolved shame from these traumatic events burdened Teresa for years. To protect herself from the pain, she became an overachiever. This exhibited outwardly as control and anger, while inwardly she was filled with self-doubt and felt invisible around others. Fortunately, the Process gave her the tools she needed to begin healing and to find her voice.
Today, talking about her experience with the Process brings Teresa to tears. Although she started the program only hoping to find clarity about whether or not she should pursue life coaching, the overall impact was more profound than she could have imagined. The Process was a guide to her true self, and a chance to finally give love and attention to the little girl inside that was always told she didn’t matter and didn’t have a voice.
Thanks to her newfound perspective, Teresa has noticed a significant transformation in her personal and professional relationships. Although her family has never wavered in their fear surrounding her identity as a gay woman, Teresa now feels tremendous peace, love and compassion toward them.
Her work burnout has subsided as well, as she now recognizes the opportunity to add value instead of feeling trapped. She is excited to be moving forward with life coach training with the Divine Intelligence Institute while thriving in her CPA practice. Teresa feels for the first time in her life that she is finding her voice and that she matters. She can’t wait to have an opportunity to share The Process with others who may have forgotten who they truly are as well. Teresa’s friends and colleagues have noticed the changes as well, reporting that she’s more present, a better listener, more self-aware, happier, filled with joy and has a sparkle in her eye.